I don’t know when this started happening, but I have a new-found appreciation for the slow and gradual building process. I’m not talking about constructing a house or a city building. I’m talking about the time it takes to build something new in us — something that will last. When it happens, we often feel something building in us, but we don’t always have the language to explain it. I’ve begun to notice this kind of growth in myself, and I don’t just appreciate it, I need it.

I wasn’t always like this. I definitely live for the quick and “right now”. Just ask me how I clean my kitchen! Others have said, I look like a tornado whirling around in a cleaning frenzy. They aren’t wrong! I’ve practiced the “hustle” all my life.

I mean, who really likes to wait for things to happen?!

Raise your hand if you would choose the slow, restricted journey over arriving at a destination. Call out if you love delayed answers. What about decisions that are calculated, set aside, or seemingly forgotten — anyone out there like those?

I would choose the end result over waiting, any day! The build up to something good can feel unfair and be downright annoying. Recently though, a major shift has happened. Not so much in my emotions, but deep within my soul.

My soul (aka, my emotions, mind, and will) now seeks and even craves, the slowed down pace. It needs the parts of waiting that only move to the rhythm of silence and solitude. My soul, even though it’s painful, shows up for the valley seasons. It’s intrigued by the gradual climb like an unsolved mystery.

Before this shift, I would dismiss things that take time like a pesky mosquito. Now, I seek unhurried space like fresh air. What’s changed, you ask? I’ve started to pay attention to my soul and the areas where she won’t move (at least, not as fast as I want her to!).

You can see it when I'm decorating a room or even just a wall. When it takes months or even years to style a given space. When the goal isn’t to fill up space, but to abide in the space I’ve been given.

You can see it when I’m writing. When the words don’t come easily, or show up at all. When the writing process pains me. When poems lay untouched because they need time to rest and be.

You can see it in my parenting or marriage. When I’m addressing my impulses to act out or give the cold shoulder. When my anger is triggered the minute I see a messy sink. When I ache for healing or change, and it just doesn’t come right away.

These instances reflect my soul’s need for the waiting room; her need for the building process. She’s thankful for the slow and steady, and even digs her heels to protest when the fragile parts of me try to move too fast. She cries, “Let’s hold up a minute!" She slows down because she needs wholeness. She seeks unity with holiness.

When something is changing in our hearts, or in our influence, that is proof of God’s mercy. He shows mercy by bringing parts of us that have been separated from him, back in communion with him. The selfish and wounded parts that have been going one way, God is turning back towards his way. That is probably why this kind of thing hurts so much!

“When something is changing in our hearts, or in our influence, that is proof of God’s mercy.”

2 Samuel 14:14 (NLT) says,

“All of us must die eventually. Our lives are like water spilled out on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. But God doesn’t not just sweep life way; instead he devises ways to bring us back when have been separated from him.”

Our lives can easily be swallowed up, or “spilled out”, by very present, sinful works. Sin has the power to eat us whole! Yet, God loves us too much to see us taken away by sin. When things feel lost or hopeless, God is present too and he is way more powerful than what is trying to kill us! As scripture says, God’s heart is to restore us, and his timing works the way it does because he wants every part of us. So when our soul is moving slow, that means change is happening!

Doesn’t that give you a grander view of our lives? We have greater hope when we consider what’s being built in and around us. We have deeper gratitude when God restores what’s been lost or heals what’s been broken.

Consider the build. Maybe God is building a healthy marriage. Maybe it’s a timely and encouraging word for someone else. What if the build is a work of art that has yet to be carved or painted? It could also be a new way of doing things because the old way isn’t working i.e. how we speak, study, parent, work, or even play.

When we consider the build more than the completion, we discover language to explain what’s happening in us. Sometimes, it simply leads us to say, “This is hard!” In truth, it’s hard because things done in haste rarely last.

“We have greater hope when we consider what’s being built in and around us.”

That, my friends, is why I appreciate slow and steady works more than ever before. Because when it’s time to exit the waiting room, when the build is finally complete, we won’t be stuck in old ways. Rather, you’ll find our renewed souls standing in God’s company, joining the saints in never-ending praise.

When you feel lonely, lost, or stuck in old ways, consider these questions:

What is God building in my soul?
What in me has been separated from God?
What needs to be brought back under God’s authority and love?

Lord, take me to the waiting room. Help me notice what you're doing as I wait for things to form and take shape. I know you're building something in and around me. Whatever it is, it won’t be what it used to be. I won’t be what I used to be. Take me to the waiting room. I trust that, on the other side you’re preparing a place for me to sing of your perfect timing and glory.

Consider The Build