Ever since I became a mom I've been open about my journey to understanding my Filipino heritage. As a kid, I rejected it. I refused to learn Tagalog, and I leaned heavily on being "White" in my speech and associations. It was about being less Filipino to my outside world. My parents equipped me as best they could, they were entirely Filipino while trying to live out their traditions in the suburbs. It was confusing as a kid. Now that I have my own, I see the significance in passing on my Pinoy heritage. There's freedom to growing up in the U.S., but also in growing up Filipino.

So enter this editorial, styled shoot. I had an idea to highlight some of the rich history behind Filipino fashion trends with their butterfly sleeves and Tapis-like skirts, and an entire TEAM of incredibly talented ladies brought my idea to life. Our collaboration is what makes being Asian + American so unique. Between us, we brought equal perspectives and textures to celebrate lineage made modern. There was big excitement and cohesive understanding with this team. A rich blend of artistic minds and backgrounds. We are here saying we each have a part to play in communicating a story, and the different ways we see things is what makes being diverse maganda AKA beautiful. I am BESIDE MYSELF by the craft and skill my friends have. They are storytellers, capture + color specialists, and straight aces in composition.

This creative expression through distinct textiles is for all my Filipino American First-Generation creatives. Daughters and sons. Entrepreneurs and stay-at-home mom(ers). For when you were told you weren't Filipino enough, or told you need to be less or more to work. For the times we have been othered with an "I don't get you" or "do different or better". The times we've joined in, and said "I don't get me either." This expression is for me. You and I can pull threads from our hertiage that don't make sense and make it make sense -- to us.

It's not to prove anyone wrong, it's to announce myself as right. I'm right for having confusion and a blend of both worlds that do and don't collide. I have a distinct banquet table to choose from. A table full of diverse fruits, mindsets, and way of doing things. It's nuanced with crisp pigments.

It's for my mixed-race family. May it honor our blend well, but challenge us to not bank on what we're used to as the superior way. Let's keep learning each other. May our perspectives give context to how we individually interpret what we take and bring back to our ancestors' table as a way to contribute too.

We may lean heavily on locked lineage, and we can notice when we do. We can gently remember that all of us have space in being mixed race. We are a decadent mix in how we all blend.

And from big Vivien to little Vivien, I’m so proud of how far you’ve come.

Contributors:

Block one: Abigail Lynn Photography
Block two: Allison Nicole Photography
Make-up: Morgan Mcguire
Styled: Vivien Reed + Danyra Chavez

Modern Filipinana meets American Fashion | Part 1