I named my guitar Eugene.

I've never been a musical person. I can't carry a tune and if you read my recent blog post Dear Creative, you know that all growing up, I had a hard time playing instruments.

Until I moved to Asia in my twenties. When you live in a different country, things you didn’t know were inside you tend to bubble up and spill over. You’d be surprised by what you do to adapt to a new environment.

At 22 years old, I was set on trying new things — as if living in Asia wasn’t new enough. One day at church, I told a friend I wanted to learn to play the guitar, but I didn’t know what kind to buy. I especially didn’t know how to buy one in Asia; I didn’t speak a lick of the language yet. Luckily he played guitar and was fluent in the language, so he helped me purchase my first instrument.

I named my guitar Eugene and for 2 years, I learned to play. It was a useful skill to have, especially as a missionary. You never knew when you had to lead a small worship set, or use it to pour your tears at the feet of Jesus.

I mostly used it for the latter. Eugene was the tool I used to express unresolved emotions tied to living in a foreign land.

I slowly learned chords, then I learned songs, and being the writer that I am, I attempted to write my own lyrics. While I never wrote a full song, I wrote a lot of bridges. Probably because I favored the A chord, the C chord and that tricky D chord. Once you know those, you pretty much know all the old school worship songs. I felt like I arrived when my calloused fingers, calloused twice over.

When it came to playing, I didn't have an end goal in mind, I just took it one day at time. I loved playing just to play. Writing about this now, I'm perplexed that I learned to play an instrument on my own. My skill only lasted during my time in Asia. I took my guitar back to the States, but the practice never stuck.

Eugene served me well. He was there for me when I was burnt out, when I wanted to try something new, and when I wanted to accomplish something hard. He helped me piece together weird words and encouraged me to say, "Hey, I know how to play guitar.”

There's a part of me that misses Eugene, or at least the part of me that attempts new skills — skills I thought were for other people. I learned to play guitar when I was 24. Could I play it now? Probably not like before. 

What I can do now is learn a new skill just for the sake of learning a new skill. There doesn't have to be an end goal in mind. The practice of playing, messing up, trying, and accomplishing is good for us. When we try something new it’s not only fun, but it’s necessary. It keeps us fresh, playful, and creative. When we try just to try, we’re less serious and more curious.

I'm no longer 24, but I'm still alive and breathing. That means there's much more to try. Maybe I'll take up karate. Maybe I won't.

Either way, I'm excited to explore a different craft, one that may just serve me for a season. A skill that doesn't ask me to be a professional, pressure me to be perfect or ask me to be good. A craft that just asks me to try and to have fun doing it.